My Niece, Camille

When I was 15 years old I became an aunt for the first time. My brother and sister-in-law lived in Utah then and while they both worked we babysat our favorite baby, Camille.
One of my favorite things, and I'm sure many of my siblings as well, was for Camille to fall asleep on my chest. She was so peaceful that I would often fall asleep too, with her head on my shoulder.

I remember a strange incident when I was in 10th grade, theater class. The teacher had us do a relaxation technique where we all had to lay flat on our backs on the floor, relaxing our bodies, while she told a calming story. All I remember was imagining myself floating through clouds, as the teacher told us to, and the next thing I knew I was holding my niece in my arms as she slept on my chest. I could feel very distinctly her warm, little body against me and my arms around her. Then I heard the teacher snap her fingers and I opened my eyes. I was surprised to find my arms flat on the floor, by my sides, and no Camille sleeping on my chest. I'm not sure if it had been a dream, or some form of hypnosis. What ever the case, that seemed to be my "safe place", the most calming, peaceful place for my subconscious mind to go.
Since then I've had my own babies and have spent countless days and nights with them sleeping in my arms. I love them so much! But my first memories of this are of my niece, and they seem to stand out.
When she was 2 years old my brother & his family moved to Idaho and I only saw Camille and her cute siblings on holidays and special occasions.

I thought of this over the weekend while attending Camille's wedding. I was in wonder, thinking of my little snuggle buddy, and how she has grown into a beautiful young woman in just a few years.
I hadn't met her fiance, Stephen, and wasn't sure how I felt about this guy stealing my beautiful niece away. But when I saw the way he looked at her I instantly liked him. I'm so happy for them!
All I can think of now is that in a year or two there will probably be a little mini Camille or Stephen to snuggle with! They better not stay away too much, cause I'm convinced their babies will carry that Camille magic and I hope to be a witness!

Nevermind!

Apparently it's the 20 year anniversary of the release of Nirvana's Nevermind album. I just read an article in Spin magazine and it brought back so many lovely memories... and also made me feel OLD! 20 years? Seriously? -Then I look up from the article, take off my bifocals to wipe a lethargic tear from my eye & shake an angry fist, cain in hand, at the neighbor kids on my lawn. What are you talking about? I'm still a young whippersnapper!-

I remember the first time I heard Smells Like Teen Spirit on the radio. It grabbed onto something inside of me... angst? Yeah, that must be it. Something very familiar to my teen self.
I have a memory of going to my friend's birthday party. She had invited a boy that she liked, Russ. I remember that her mom had bought beer for the party (can you say Mother of the year award?), which I don't think any of us drank accept for the birthday girl's boyfriend, who's name I never cared to remember. This winner boyfriend tried to pick a fight with Russ and punched him in the face. That part of the night was pretty lame. I remember, though, that Russ gave me a ride home and we were listening to Nevermind in his car. I think I asked him several times the name of the band because I was so inthralled with the music that I didn't want to forget. I don't think I talked to that boy much after that, even though the next year he was in my art class. Maybe he didn't remember me. Or maybe he hoped that I didn't remember him being punched in the face. What ever the case that is my first memory of listening to that particular album.

Potter Mania

The Harry Potter books are probably the most popular book series that I've ever known of. To me, it's no wonder. J.K. Rowling created a highly imaginative world with witty and fun characters, a complete joy to read in my opinion. The only people that I know who can disagree are those who never read them.

The films got better with each one and this weekend the last film was released in theaters. I'm so glad the film makers took the time to split the 7th book into 2 movies. There is just WAY too much information to cut down to 2 or even 3 hours. But it has been a fun & very entertaining ride.


All over social networks people of all types are expressing their excitement to see this movie, and there are a few who express their disinterest. For many years I've heard complaints from good (Christian) people that the Harry Potter series instigates an interest in witchcraft, sorcery, paganism and hedonism. I suppose it's possible that there is truth in it. Personally, I'd like to hope that most people can read a book or watch a movie and just appreciate it's fictional value as a work of art. Also, it's the 21st century now and if someone mixes a brew of medicinal herbs we know enough about science to know that it's not magic. There is no reason to fear someone who believes differently than ourselves to the extent of burning & hanging. I hope we all know enough about history to have evolved past the point of such atrocities. Besides, the story it's self isn't about these things, it's about a boy who has been abused and neglected and finds out not only that he is special, but is famous among a magical world. There are multiple sweet and inspirational messages woven into the story.


I don't wish to stir up contention or elicit evil, but I think it's interesting that so many people still fear paganism. Why is this? Weather we agree with or understand another person's beliefs or not, I learned long ago that if I am to expect others to respect me for my beliefs I have to respect them for theirs. And there is always a common ground.

If we think about it, somewhere in our own past we all had relatives at some point who practiced pagan beliefs. All of our Christian holidays (practiced in the U.S.) were adopted from pagan holidays. It's just a part of our world's history that I, personally, find fascinating.


So if you're worried that exposing yourself to Harry Potter will corrupt your mind and turn you into a heathen, then you're probably right. Look what it's done to me! Oh, wait... I think I was like this before I discovered the wizarding world. Pray for me!


And to those who love and embrace all things HP, care to share your favorite moment? :)

The Arrogance of Blogging

A few years ago I was pressured into starting this blog and haven't been very regular at keeping it up. I remember telling my husband about it and how several people that I am close to had started blogging. He expressed a distaste for bloggers, deeming them arrogant for believing others to be so interested in what they have to say. His opinion caused me to feel a little self conscious about keeping my blog.

Since that time I was reluctant at times to blog, feeling that what I have to say is of no consequence to anyone. But then I have very few followers, and what do I care what anyone thinks? Some times putting your thoughts & feelings down, whether on paper or internet, can be fun and even a little therapeutic. I can choose what to share and what not to share with others. It doesn't really matter to me whether others think it is uninteresting. I've decided to keep this up for myself alone. But I will do my best to keep it fun and interesting for my close friends & family members who may be the only people to read it.

Independence Day 2011

Me & Patriotism

As a young child I remember singing patriotic songs about America in school. I had a friend of Latino decent who told me, "I don't sing the part that says, "Land where my fathers died..." because none of my fathers ever died here."

I thought to myself, "Yeah, that makes sense." But then realized that as a first generation Swedish-American, none of my fathers have died on this land as of yet either! But I later decided that the men & women who have died for my country may not have been MY genetic fathers (and mothers), but the parents of my country.



For most of my youth I never considered myself an American. I was proud of my heritage to a fault, as a Swede. When my sister & I visited the home country of our parents when we were teenagers we were the American girls, and I didn't like it. We didn't speak much Swedish, and were American citizens. I had always thought of myself as Swedish, so being dubbed an American girl put a dent in my pride. I finally had to humbly tell myself, "I am an American."



Years later I made the choice to be a missionary for my church, and was assigned to the Russia, Yekaterinburg mission. I was in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT, for what would be my last Independence Day in the United States for 18 months. Something about being sent to a formerly Communist country, as an American woke something up inside me. For the first time in my life I was really, REALLY, proud to be an American! We were allowed to watch fireworks on the grounds of the training center, and I remember being tearful and appreciative for my country.

While in Russia I had a mission companion who occasionally would knock on a door and say, "Hello, we are Americans!" instead of what we were supposed to say ("We are representatives of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints," a mouth full, especially in the Russian language!). The 'We are Americans' bit always seemed to open doors. Russians apparently are fascinated with Americans! One man, who was clearly intoxicated, burst into tears, went inside his apartment to comb his hair, then came back and said, "I'm sorry, but I've never met Americans before!" I wanted to cry myself I was so touched by this response. I wanted to reach out and give him a hug, but this wasn't allowed. Missionary rules are very strict.



Since 9/11/01 I've had so many mixed feelings, not necessarily of my country, but about my government. I've had feelings of pride, and feelings of disappointment. I love my country, though I know that it has it's faults.

Growing up, my parents never really discussed politics. Since becoming U.S. citizens, I don't think they have even claimed a political party. I grew up with a love for my country, as well as the country of my forefathers... and then a love and fascination for the diverse cultures of the world!

In our day the country that I have pledged my allegiance to isn't the only "free country", but one that sets an example of freedom to others. Of course, I don't condone forcing political beliefs on others, but believe that everyone should have a right to at least choose how they would like to be governed.



Over & out. Have a happy & peaceful Independence Day!

Battle with Dorkiness

There seems to be a phase that all, or at least most, children go through between being a small child and reaching their teens. It is when they become aware that some things are cool, and some things are not and they desperately shoot too high trying to reach for the 'cool' mark... and miss it by a mile. It's a very awkward time. For some it last longer than with others, and for me I spent more years in this phase than I'd like to admit.



A few years ago I noticed that my oldest child had entered this phase. Since she was just a baby this girl was brimming with self confidence, the monarch of social butterflies! It was a gradual change, but one day I realized that she, in her desperate plight to be cool, became quite uncool... I remember saying something about this to my sister, who at that time was reading a book series that she thought related this phase that I was talking about and called it, "the Uglies," according to this book series. I have to disagree, though. Ugly wasn't a name that I would ever call my child. I still thought that she was quite pretty, just awkward and well, dorky. Now I don't like to force my opinion of what is cool or uncool, pretty or not, etc. on my kids, so I cringed when she would watch High School Musical or Hannah Montana, and tried to model herself after her Disneyfied heroes. Besides, it was only my opinion that these were uncool... I couldn't see any moral problem with her liking these things. I told myself that this was just a phase. Some day she would deny ever liking these things, just like I did with Debby Gibson and the New Kids on the Block. If you ever ask, the answer is NO, I've always been way too cool to like those losers!

I am happy to say that my daughter spent a much shorter time in the dork phase than I did. She has now moved on to the, "My mom is so embarrassing," phase. Hello! Now she thinks I'm the dork! Maybe I came full circle, or deluded myself into thinking that I actually left that phase! Whatever the case I am who I am.



Now I have recently come to the conclusion that my son has entered the dork phase. He has always been a little ham. He could get a room full of adults laughing with next to no effort any time, a natural clown. Lately his jokes completely miss the mark. I feel bad not laughing, but it's just not there anymore... he tries too hard and misses.

Last night I brought my kids to their school carnival where my son & youngest daughter spent most of their time in the disco room. My son still made me giggle with his crazy dancing skills, flailing his arms & legs like some kind of psycho. Then this Gummy Bear song came on (you may know it) and he went NUTS! Oh my!

When we (finally) left the disco room my son ran down the hall to this very pretty little girl with shiny, long, brown hair and said, "Guess what song they just played in the disco room! ..." then he broke into song and dance, in a very high pitched & un-masculine voice, arms & legs flailing, and to my surprise this girl joined him! Singing and dancing with him! At this I just had to grin and think, "Well, maybe there is still hope for him yet." Who am I to say what's cool anyway? ;)